here we go, once more.

Hey everyone.

Well my life is again taking unexpected spins and i have reached crossroads of which i don't know where they will take me.
At this point, anything can happen and nothing can happen.

As most of you know, I am in my second year in college, studying International Relations, and so far its been all good - love the field and love the way i have grown. I started walking this direction, confident that its gods will for me. And He has provided for me in every sense possible - financially, spiritually, emotionally, you name it (even to the point of giving me free accommodation in the city center). It's been a crazy road and I think I have grown more as a person than gaining anything academically (although that too, no doubt).
So where's the catch? The big change? Well, this autumn i made a crazy decision. A really really unrational one. But again confident of it being His way for me, I didn't ask, just trusted.
Last year I studied in an Estonian course, long-distance - so i could work - which costs about 30 000 kroons per year. This semester I switched to an English course, which costs about 26 000 kroons per semester, a total of about 52 000 kroons per year. I took a student loan and spent every bit of it on the first semester. And i was fully aware that I would reach the point where I am today.
At this stage - i am absolutely out of money, no job, no specific career path or even a clue of what I want to do. Brilliant, hey! :D What display of wisdom!
I have looked for scholarships, even wrote to some, but there is very little for Estonians by Estonia in my school in this field. Love the Recession :D
So there you go - any rational person can freely and rightly call me an idiot! Absolutely!
But there is something I have that I cannot logically explain - a complete peace and knowledge filling my whole being that I have nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing. Heck yeah, insane, but I don't even care.
And there is something I know that I want - I have given my life to Christ, that is my heart, my purpose, my walk.
Many may know the situation I am in, yet many don't know my God. And in no way do I speak of some trance or emotional state or blind command following or whatever else can be argumented against me. Trust me, I've heard it all and thought of it all.
The God I serve is so real, there is nothing that can take me out of His hand. His existence makes me confident. Confident to the point where I can be crazy, yet absolutely sober in mind.

So what do i do? I am leaving town. For a few weeks, to get some insight on what I should do next. No, I don't hope to get some grand revelation of what i need to do with my life. I think that's all inside of me already.
But I do hope to get closer to this God that has brought me here and then just watch Him arise in my life.

Wait and see. 2010 is promising to be a wild one.