Tohu va Vohu

hey!

My blog has been rather silent for a while on my part - I have been busy with work stuff. But i will not discuss those issues here (it would take faaar too much space, but if you want to know what went on - call me ;). I am absolutely overjoyed for the comments - thanks guys - its good to know these thoughts make sense to at least some people :)
I also wanted to add - the reason I am writing in English is mostly for my Aussies to be able to understand what I am writing about.

Although... I have to admit - I kinda like it too...the whole English thing makes my thoughts run in every direction!

Now... to the topic of the day.

TOHU VA VOHU

I was reading a brilliant book called "Sex God" by Rob Bell a while ago. And I have to say it is one of the best books I have ever read!
The author talks about sex and sexuality in a completely different light from what I have thought so far. The main point of the book is to explore connections between sexuality and spirituality, but again, because of the limited time I have to write this post, I will discuss these issues another time.

From one point he talks about God creating the world. It says in the first chapter of Genesis -

1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

The bit where it says "the earth was without form, and void", in Hebrew, they use the word Tohu va Vohu.

Tohu-Va-Vohu is a Hebrew nonsense phrase, which has been translated, "wild and waste".

Out of the formlessness, the chaos, the "wild and waste". God created life, light, darkness, plants, animals, and the so-called crown of creation - mankind.

Rob Bells argues an interesting point - creation did not end after the seven days, but in fact, it still goes on today. In us and through us.

I was wondering about that these past weeks - my life being an ongoing creation. I was born to this planet, into a spiritual tohu va vohu - formlessness, chaos - and soon enough, I became a part of it.

But God is making something out of all this mess. He is creating something. I know, because I can sometimes see glimpses of it.
I want my life to become something...to m e a n something.
And I am desperately making efforts for it to be so.

In my search to figure out what direction my life will take next, I have had absolutely ABSURD ideas. For a few days I thought about studying medicine and becoming a doctor in Africa. Then I had ideas about becoming a writer.
Pretty random, I know.

A tohu va vohu, I might even say..

One day I had a crazy idea. I am pretty sure it wasn´t mine. I felt I was looking at the wrong end of things - I was trying to get an image of my future.. but instead I needed to look through my past.
WHAT??
That was my first reaction. But i decided to follow that random thought, because quite honestly.. I felt like I was wasting my time with all of this figuring-things-out thing.

I was flicking through pages in my old diaries, reading about what I used to dream about. What I loved doing, what I was looking for.
There was no big revelation... rather a sense of peace. A chance to really see how the last few years have completely changed who I am. A chance to thank God, to praise Him for bringing me where I am.
I felt His presence with me, like a shade under trees, like a cool summer breeze from the heat of my life.

And then some time later.. I had a very interesting conversation with my sister´s boyfriend, which prompted me to start looking at different Uni courses.
I did. And guess what. I found what I had been looking for.

Yesterday, I took my applications in. The lady who was interviewing me hinted that I can consider myself enrolled.

Where, you ask? :)

Starting in September, I will be studying Internatinal Relations at the university of Audentes (if I really do get in that is).

It is a massive challenge. Work. University. Youth group.
The first year, I will study
This however also means that I cant get a loan to pay for my studies, which is 38 000 kroons a year.
No, i don't know, where I will get the money. But i do know that money is should never be the reason why Im not going to college.


And I do have faith in this God, who takes a massive bunch of tohu va vohu and creates something amazing out of it.